How to read an Opus

Strategies to get through a book on Sachin Tendulkar that weighs 40 kg

If you haven't seen an Opus before, it's over 800 pages long, with each page half a meter square. It weighs more than 30 kg. It's certainly no ordinary book!

That is Sachin Tendulkar on Opus, a series of lavish books on some of the world's famous individuals and enterprises. Among others, there are ready or planned Opus editions on Michael Jackson and Wimbledon, Vivienne Westwood and Dubai's Burj Khalif. There is one on Ferrari, and some believe it is heavier than Ferrari's F1 car. But Tendulkar is one of only two individual sportsmen to have an Opus dedicated to them, the other being Diego Maradona.

'Greatness Immortalized Greatly' is the somewhat clunky slogan of the Opus Media Group, the company that makes the books. Kraken Opus, the publishing devision, says their purpose is to create "the most epic stunning and iconic publications ever seen in the world of sport and entertainment". They do make some (relatively) affordable copies. But the real talking points are their outsized, outpriced special editions.

Yes, Opus is no ordinary book. As per the official website, its weight is moe like 40 kg, not just 'over 30'. Reading develops intellectual brawn, it is said. Reading Opus will also develop the muscles of your arm. Cardio one day, Opus the next. That could soon be fitness routine of the health conscious.

You have played racquet's sport doubles. Opus could see the advent of doubles reading. Two readers on either side. The owner of the copy could even sell tickets and have two-hours shows of the book. 

Excuse me. The phone's ringing.

"Hello?"

"Hello. This is David Howman from WADA (the World Anti-Doping Agency). Please convey to all prospective buyers of Opus in India that they will have to sign our Whereabouts Clause. We don't want readers to use steroids so as to be able to carry copies of Opus."

There. Another Opus effect.
It doesn't stop there. With each Tendulkar Special Edition costing $75,000, robbers now have a new target. "Bhai (Brother), forget jewellery. Books are the new thing."

The phone is ringing again, "Yes?"

""Hulo! This is Dev Anand!"

"Yes sir. How are you sir? I have have watched Jewel Thief 17 times."

"Then I have some good news. I'm thinking of a sequel to Jewel Thief. I even have a title. Book Thief."